Should I Push Back or Pull Back? Managing Conflict in a Pandemic
Recent changes have meant more time at home and a lot more time online. Couple this with all the other things going on in our lives and it’s very easy to get stressed and agitated. Unlike when this happens in person, however, we’re now constantly virtually connected to our coworkers, peers, friends, and family so it can be harder to “step away” and find some space when tensions run high.
Last week, I was emailing back and forth with someone and was becoming more and more frustrated. What typically would have taken much of the day as we both emailed between patients and other responsibilities had been condensed into several back and forth emails within an hour. I simply didn’t understand how they didn’t “get” what I was saying! As I started to type a sarcastic response to their most recent email, I, fortunately, recognized that likely wasn’t the next step to a productive solution. Luckily, I was able to step away from my computer for a moment and pull up my favorite mindfulness app (MyLife Meditation is available for Apple or Android for anyone that’s interested). The sentiment at the center of the session was to remember that whoever I was frustrated by wanted to be happy and avoid suffering just like I did. While that is a basic idea, it was a good reminder to encourage me to pull back and engage from a place of common ground.
Similar reflections have been helpful in the past as well. Whether it’s my husband walking away from the dinner table and leaving his plate right there for someone else (me) to pick up or a classmate asking “one last question” when I desperately need to leave on time, it’s good to remember that those around us do not have malicious intent. They are simply doing what makes sense to them and don’t yet understand how it impacts us. With all of this in mind, some tips on deciding when and how to engage when conflict arises came through my inbox recently, and I found them to be exactly what I needed right now.
If you’re in a similar spot, check out these tips from Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore (or her whole article) and if you have any of your own, please email them to me! Now more than ever is a great time to learn from one another and I’ve been so lucky to be virtually surrounded by all of you folks to do just that.
First, perform a self assessment.
- How do I manage conflict?
- Are there ways I could express myself more clearly in conflict?
- Am I carrying around unresolved anger or in danger of blowing up?
When conflict arises, ask yourself:
- In this particular situation, should I push back or should I pull back?
- What will I gain? What will I lose?
- If I decide to push back, what’s the most effective way to do so?
If you decide to push back:
- State your observation of the problematic behavior
- Describe how it makes you feel
- Make your needs clear and request what you want
As always, stay well and thank you for a year full of unexpected surprises!
J. Riley DeBacker
SAA President
Related Posts
SAA Recognizes You
The Student Academy of Audiology (SAA) is fortunate to take a moment to be grateful to our members and supporters for their work and accomplishments throughout the year. 2021-2022 Chapter Challenge Winners The SAA would like to give a big congratulations to the 2021-2022 chapter challenge winners! Most Overall Points: Nova Southeastern University Most Well-Rounded:…
January 2022
President’s Corner
As the new year begins, many fourth/final year externs are beginning to look for job openings and apply for positions. Students not in their final year of graduate school may also browse job-posting sites like HEARCareers to see what opportunities may be available in the future. These postings have a list of technical skills required…
November 2021
President’s Corner
Advocacy in Action! Whenever I meet audiology students and ask them to describe their take on the most pressing issues in audiology, advocacy always comes up as a response. It is clear we want to see the profession advance by increasing access to care, expanding our services, and growing awareness in our communities. Many regulations…